There is no question about it: Linux offers significantly less surface to make nasty jokes about viruses and malware. Nevertheless, there are many prejudices with which of course nice jokes and bad sayings can be made. Since I already have a page about Apple jokes here in the blog, it is only fair if the Linux warehouse should also have a small fun section.
Chapter in this post:
- 1 So let's get started with the Linux jokes
- 2 Apache
- 3 penguins
- 4 Liquid MPEG
- 5 C64 emulation
- 6 VC20 emulation
- 7 heaven and hell
- 8 What then?
- 9 fall free!
- 10 SUDO
- 11 Never ...
- 12 soccer diva
- 13 Not entirely free
- 14 error message
- 15 Quote from Linus Torvalds
- 16 Rudolf Scharping
- 17 And here are a few more Linux sayings
- 18 And longer Linux jokes
- 19 5 euros per question
- 20 Lara saves Linus
- 21 M $ and Batman
- 22 pee
- 23 Forced Windows
- 24 Linux Airways
- 25 Similar posts
So, let's go with the Linux jokes
Linux is like a wigwam
no windows, no gates
and an apache inside
Better a couple of broken windows than having a penguin on your neck all day!
As a Linux user, how do you get a smooth MPEG running? Switch on the video recorder!
Why is it difficult to emulate a C64 under Linux? The C64 had sound and 256 colors!
Why is it good to emulate a VC20 with Linux? With 88 times 170 pixels and 4 colors, Linux shows its full potential!
Heaven and hell
Why do all Linux users go to heaven? Your operating system was hell enough!
What does a Linux user do when his system has been configured and all hardware and software components are working? We don't have to worry about that this century ...
Why is Linux running so stably? No software, no drivers - no crashes!
Linux user to his wife: "Make me a sandwich!"
Her: “Why? After all, I'm not your slave."
Linux user: “SUDO make me a sandwich.”
Linux never manages to become the most installed operating system! As often as we have to reinstall Windows ...
Linux is like a good soccer player. Experienced, yet fast, technically mature, flexible. But howl at the smallest problem ...
Not entirely free
Linux is only free when your time is worthless.
user @ linux $ make love
make: don't know how to make 'love'.
Quote by Linus Torvalds
The goal is not world domination,
but that would be nice.
What is the difference between Linux and Rudolf Scharping? Rudolf Scharping was an alternative!
And here are a few more Linux sayings
Sooner or later we will emulate you!
Take LINUX and forget blue screens!
Why look through the window when the door is open !?
LINUX - For life after a crash!
The big world doesn't fit through small windows - Linux!
If you think it doesn't work anymore, a Linux comes from somewhere!
Every time you use Google, you use Linux.
And longer Linux jokes
5 euros per question
A Windows admin suggests a game to a Linux colleague: "We ask questions, if you don't know the answer, you pay 5 euros." – “No”, says the Linux man, “you work commercially, you are rich, so you pay 500 euros.”
After a slight hesitation, the Microsoft employee agrees and gets started: "What is the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Linux admin thinks for a moment, gives him 5 euros without a word, and it's his turn: "What day was the topping-out ceremony at the Cheops pyramid?"
The backslasher looks at the Encarta, goes on the Internet, shrugs his shoulders and hands over five hundred and asks: "So when was the topping-out ceremony?"
The Linux man hands him 5 euros.
Lara saves Linus
At CeBIT, Linux inventor Linus Torvalds will be in discussion with Microsoft's management team. Suddenly, Lara Croft tumbles down the stage with a machine gun at the ready and asks, "Who is Linus Torvalds?"
Full of glee, the Microsoft team point to the man with the penguin shirt.
Lara then calls out: "Throw yourself on the ground, Linus!"
M $ and Batman
What's the difference between Batman and Microsoft?
Batman defeated the penguin.
Three programmers are standing in the toilet doing their business. When the first one is done, he goes to the sink, washes his hands and dries them very carefully. He uses one paper towel after the other and is meticulous about not leaving a drop of water on his hands. He turns to the others and explains: “At Microsoft, we are trained to be conscientious.”
The second finishes his business, washes his hands and only needs a single paper towel to dry his hands, being careful not to leave a square inch of paper unused. He explains that
others: "At Intel, we are not only trained to work carefully, but also to work efficiently."
When the third programmer is done, he walks past the sink, straight to the exit, and says to the others, "We, in Linux, don't pee on our hands."
A Linux developer attends a Windows seminar. After that, Bill Gates approaches him and asks what he liked most about Windows 95. His answer: "That you have to work with it."
If operating systems were airlines ...
Mac Airways: The counter people, stewards and pilots all look the same, say the same thing and act the same. If a passenger asks you a question about the flight, they reply that they don't need to know, nor do they want to know, and that they should please sit down and watch the film.
Fly Windows NT: The passengers carry their seats onto the tarmac, sit down, spread their arms and make noises as if they were flying.
LINUX Airways: Each passenger brings a few parts of the aircraft with them. They gather on the tarmac and discuss what type of aircraft they want to build. Then groups are formed, each of which builds a machine for itself, but which they all name the same. Although only a few passengers reach their destination, they all think they are at their destination.
Jens has been running the blog since 2012. He acts as Sir Apfelot for his readers and helps them with technical problems. In his spare time he rides electric unicycles, takes photos (preferably with the iPhone, of course), climbs around in the Hessian mountains or hikes with the family. His articles deal with Apple products, news from the world of drones or solutions to current bugs.