Chapter in this post:
There is no question about it: Linux offers significantly less surface to make nasty jokes about viruses and malware. Nevertheless, there are many prejudices with which of course nice jokes and bad sayings can be made. Since I already have a page about Apple jokes here in the blog, it is only fair if the Linux warehouse should also have a small fun section.
Linux is like a wigwam
no windows, no gates
and an apache inside
Better a couple of broken windows than having a penguin on your neck all day!
As a Linux user, how do you get a smooth MPEG running? Switch on the video recorder!
Why is it difficult to emulate a C64 under Linux? The C64 had sound and 256 colors!
Why is it good to emulate a VC20 with Linux? With 88 times 170 pixels and 4 colors, Linux shows its full potential!
Why do all Linux users go to heaven? Your operating system was hell enough!
What does a Linux user do when his system has been configured and all hardware and software components are working? We don't have to worry about that this century ...
Why is Linux running so stably? No software, no drivers - no crashes!
Linux user to his wife: "Make me a sandwich!"
She: "Why? I'm not your slave after all."
Linux user: "SUDO make me a sandwich."
Linux never manages to become the most installed operating system! As often as we have to reinstall Windows ...
Linux is like a good soccer player. Experienced, yet fast, technically mature, flexible. But howl at the smallest problem ...
Linux is only free when your time is worthless.
user @ linux $ make love
make: don't know how to make 'love'.
The goal is not world domination,
but that would be nice.
What is the difference between Linux and Rudolf Scharping? Rudolf Scharping was an alternative!
Sooner or later we will emulate you!
Take LINUX and forget blue screens!
Why look through the window when the door is open !?
LINUX - For life after a crash!
The big world doesn't fit through small windows - Linux!
If you think it doesn't work anymore, a Linux comes from somewhere!
Every time you use Google, you use Linux.
A Windows admin suggests a game to a Linux colleague: "We ask questions, and anyone who doesn't know the answer pays 5 euros." - "No," says the Linux man, "you work commercially, you are rich, so you pay 500 euros."
After a slight hesitation, the Microsoft employee agrees and starts: "How big is the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Linux admin thinks for a moment, wordlessly gives him 5 euros and it's his turn: "On which day was the topping-out ceremony at the Cheops pyramid?"
The Backslasher checks the Encarta, goes on the Internet, shakes his head and gives five hundred and asks: "So when was the topping-out ceremony?"
The Linux man hands him 5 euros.
At CeBIT, Linux inventor Linus Torvalds is discussing with Microsoft's management team. Suddenly Lara Croft falls onto the stage with a MG at the ready and asks: "Who is Linus Torvalds?"
Full of glee, the Microsoft team point to the man with the penguin shirt.
Lara calls out: "Throw yourself on the floor immediately, Linus!"
What's the difference between Batman and Microsoft?
Batman defeated the penguin.
Three programmers are in the toilet doing their business. When the first one is done, he goes to the sink, washes his hands and dries them very carefully. He uses one paper towel after the other and is careful not to leave a drop of water on his hands. He turns to the others and explains: "At Microsoft, we are trained to be conscientious."
The second finishes his business, washes his hands and only needs a single paper towel to dry his hands, being careful not to leave a square inch of paper unused. He explains that
others: "At Intel, we are trained not only to work carefully, but also to work efficiently."
When the third programmer is done, he walks past the sink, straight to the exit and says to the others: "We, at Linux, don't pee on our hands."
A Linux developer attends a Windows seminar. Then Bill Gates comes up to him and asks him what he liked best about Windows 95. His answer: "That you have to work with it."
If operating systems were airlines ...
Mac Airways: The counter people, stewards and pilots all look the same, say the same thing and act the same. If a passenger asks you a question about the flight, they reply that they don't need to know, nor do they want to know, and that they should please sit down and watch the film.
Fly Windows NT: The passengers carry their seats onto the tarmac, sit down, spread their arms and make noises as if they were flying.
LINUX Airways: Each passenger brings a few parts of the aircraft with them. They gather on the tarmac and discuss what type of aircraft they want to build. Then groups are formed, each of which builds a machine for itself, but which they all name the same. Although only a few passengers reach their destination, they all think they are at their destination.
Jens has been running the blog since 2012. He appears as Sir Apfelot for his readers and helps them with problems of a technical nature. In his free time he drives electric unicycles, takes photos (preferably with his iPhone, of course), climbs around in the Hessian mountains or hikes with the family. His articles deal with Apple products, news from the world of drones or solutions for current bugs.